Alright fellow Canadians, it’s been nearly a month since this began, how are you doing?

And by that I mean.. how are you really doing?

Because, if I’m being honest, I’m all over the map.

I wake up, ready to tackle whatever the day throws at me.

Sullivan wants pancakes? No problem, I’ll just get the flour, sugar, eggs and milk and whip some up. Alistair’s feeding the dog instead of himself? I’ll pretend I don’t see that as I sip my hot coffee.

And while all this is happening, I’m logging into my work computer and replying to emails.

But the coffee is hot, the sun is shining, and everyone is healthy. I’m zen.

Until an hour later…. Replies to the emails which I replied to earlier that morning are now coming in. Sullivan is jumping on his brother’s back, telling him “bisous, bisous” and peppering Alistair with kisses. My husband is trying to contain them so I can squeeze in just a few more tasks before we all have a change of scenery. That zen I felt? It’s (not so) slowly disappearing.

OK… everyone lace up, coats on, let’s go outside! Dog gets his first walk. Let’s go to the wooded area so Sullivan can run around. “Don’t forget to check for ticks when we get home!” I say to my husband.

The days when the sun shines, we are all able to regroup with some time outside. Zen is happening once again, even with the nagging worry of ticks. The neighbourhood is still quiet, it’s easy to social distance on these walks, and our family seems to enjoy the crisp morning air. The legs are moving, endorphins are flowing, and we feel some freedom in this time of isolation.

Except Alistair is dropping a nap, but he’s not really down to one nap a day, so zen doesn’t last long. Whining starts, and there’s Sullivan again, trying to calm his brother down by smothering him with love… I say love but really it looks like they are wrestling and Sullivan has a choke hold on Alistair all while saying “Câlin, Alistair! Câlin!” [hug, Alistair! HUG!]

Everyone’s back inside. It’s time to scramble and throw something together for lunch. Hopefully the kids decide to eat their lunch instead of feeding to the dog, right? Lunch chaos is over and finally, Alistair gives in to a nap. I’m starting to feel a bit frazzled, as I try to balance everything on my mental to-do list and sit down to do some more work. My husband is trying to get Sullivan to sit quietly, but two and a half year olds aren’t designed to sit quietly.

Did I mention that Sullivan has decided that he doesn’t nap every day anymore? Oh, right, I forget to mention that he decided he doesn’t nap, or do quiet time, or sit quietly most days. If we’re lucky, he’ll watch Sesame Street and/or play quietly. Working from home full time as a parent with small children is fun, isn’t it?

Nap time/quiet time is over. Snack time. Please play together without injuring each other I say to myself as I scramble to finish the work I’ve started during nap time.

Time to lace up again! Go play in the yard. Run around! I’m now exhausted, but the littles are full of energy. How is it only 3pm? What’s for dinner? Did we take anything out? Did I even cross a single item off my to-do list? When did we last vacuum or wash the floors? Do the kids have clean jammies?

Now I feel like a hot mess. Where is the zen?

Dinner tonight consisted of a parenting win as I convinced Sullivan to start scrubbing the potatoes and (after I diced them) let him put seasoning on them. It’s time to walk the dog again. Sullivan gets out to run around, but this time there is less freedom. It feels as though everyone’s out walking, and … well, Sullivan isn’t great at walking in a straight line, or off to the side, or understanding social distancing.

Despite trying to corral Sullivan for the better part of the walk, the walk feels nice. Most people are respectful of social distancing, smiles are being shared amongst neighbours, and neighbourhood kids are leaving encouraging chalk messages on the communal path ♡

Home again.

Bathtime. Books. Bedtime.

Find a towel to soak up the lake in the bathroom – keeping water in the tub is just a suggestion, right?

Wash dishes.
Put some laundry in.
Pour a glass of wine.
Sit down to tackle more work.

Hear a baby cry.
Go comfort baby.

Put the kettle on.
Make tea.
Sit down to work.

Notice wine glass.
Huh. Wonder when I poured that?
Take a sip. Still fresh – phew.

Get some work done.
It’s 11pm already? Didn’t I just sit down?
Fold laundry.
Watch some Netflix to decompress as I finish my wine, tea, and housework.

The day is done and I have felt a wide range of emotions:
From wide eyed and ready to tackle the day – to zen – to overwhelmed and over extended and exhausted.

More importantly, at the end of the day, I take time to feel gratitude. I’m grateful for my family, for the sun shining, and for being able to sit down for a meal with other people I love.

How about you? How are you really feeling?