Did you know that when there aren’t enough supports for children with disabilities in our education system, it’s the families of the children who need those supports who are asked to keep their children home? It’s the ones who are already in need of attention and assistance that end up being excluded.

Imagine getting a phone call from your child’s school telling you to come and pick them up during lunchtime because there are no accommodations available for your child. As a parent to a child with a disability, you are likely already struggling due to the lack of supports provided to your family. Now, on top of everything else, you have to arrange last-minute care for your child and figure out how to provide them with the education they are being denied. It’s just one more thing on the shoulders of an already overwhelmed parent who simply wants equal access to education for their child. While we haven’t experienced this exact situation for Robert, we have experienced similar ones. As recently as this school year, we were told not to send him to the after school program due to a lack of preparedness on their part.

I was talking to another parent who had been keeping her child with a disability home half-days at the school’s request, and I wondered: Why is it that the disabled children are the ones left to fall further behind?

Think about it.

What would happen if the students who didn’t require extra support were asked to learn independently from home instead, while those who needed the supports were allowed to remain in the classroom? Would the necessary accommodations and supports suddenly become available? Would we, as a general population, finally recognize that this current approach isn’t sustainable for families, prompting a change in how we fund education and supports?

To be clear, I don’t think anyone should be sent home based on their disability. Instead, I want the system to be fixed so that no child gets left behind.

This idea, that instead of keeping children who don’t require additional support in class we keep those who do, is meant to help others understand the challenges faced by families of individuals with disabilities.

And this is always done with the idea that anyone, at anytime, can become disabled. And therefore there is value in creating a support system for these families and children.

As caregivers, we are often looking for ways to make things equitable. We search for allies and hope for empathy from those in our community who may not understand the realities of being disabled or caring for someone with a disability. We do not seek pity, but true, genuine, inclusion.

And sometimes, the best way to open the eyes, minds, and hearts of others is to shed light on the experiences and struggles of those facing the challenges. By fostering understanding and compassion, we can work towards a more inclusive society where every individual, regardless of ability, has an equal opportunity to thrive.

As the school year comes to an end, remember that the support and understanding you give to families like ours makes a huge difference in our lives. This summer, engage in conversations you might not have considered before. When you drop your child off at camp, look at the other campers there. How many have a visible disability? And, if you see none at first glance, especially if you don’t see any children with visible disabilities, ask the camp organizers why they don’t seem to have an inclusive space. When they say they do, as they undoubtably will, ask them about it. Let them know that you would love to see your child’s friend with a disability participate in the programs and you hope that next year the camp can be purposeful about inclusion.

Because inclusion requires more than just us, as caregivers, advocating for our children. It requires allies to speak up and challenge the status-quo.